There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
