champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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