Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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