We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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