So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
