plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
