Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
