Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
