About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
