I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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