I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
