But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
