things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
