Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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