Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
