tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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