obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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