Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
