Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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