Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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