Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize