dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
