Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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