man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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