Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
