How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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