Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
