oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
