Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
