Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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