proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
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