i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
True strength comes from lack of pants
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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