I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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