I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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