I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
