i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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