it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
