So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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