I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
