North Korea, Best Korea!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
