Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
