Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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