I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
