Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize