the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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