I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
