Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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