So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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