did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
