he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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