and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
