her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
