I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize