Duck Duck Cougar?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize