when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
