We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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