it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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