you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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