Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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