I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
