Duck Duck Cougar?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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