I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
