But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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