Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
