I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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