you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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