He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
