I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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