im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
