If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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