David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
