I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did i walk over a car last night?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
