Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
