If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
