he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
