Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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