I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
