She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
