I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
