Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
