Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
