There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
